Anniversary #1

Yesterday we remembered Andrew on the 1 year anniversary of his death.  We took his favorite cookies to the nurses to thank them for their care, we gathered at his grave and laid down flowers and spoke heartfelt words about how much we love and miss him.  We toasted Andrew over lunch as a family and then opened our home to family and a few friends so we could be together, share and laugh.  We watched the slideshow from his memorial service and we were again reminded of Andrew's incredible smile, his many accomplishments and mostly his warm and loving persona.  He had many friends and many whom loved him.  He inspired people to be their best.  He did all this in just 33 years of life.  We were honored to call him brother, son and friend.  We miss him in a deep and painful way.  I'm not quite sure that feeling will ever go away.  As my mom said yesterday at his grave, it might not get easier or better, it will just be different and we will learn to live with our grief.  Of course we will all carry on and keep living life, but we are learning to make room for that pit in our stomach and that aching hole in our heart.

We miss you Andrew.  I kept imagining how happy you would have been to be with us yesterday - smiling, laughing, talking and telling jokes. Those were your favorite moments in life.  I ache for all those times, the simple moments when we were just doing life together.  Thank you for being the coolest person I know.

Thank you to everyone who loved and cared for Andrew.  

Happy Thanksgiving

All of us want to wish you a wonderful and happy Thanksgiving. Today we are deeply saddened that Andrew is gone. Our hearts overflow with thankfulness for getting to be Andrews sisters, mother and friend. He is in us and will always be a part of us. As we remember last thanksgiving on 12 East, we are thankful for Siobhans family who provided us with our meal and allowed us to have our last holiday with Andrew. I will never forget the peace that was in the room or looking over at Andrew and watching him look around the room. He was content and was surrounded by his crew. The love that filled that room was a gift from the heavens.

May you find peace and joy from being with those whom you love.

The Moritz girls

In one week

Hi All!

In just one week from today we will be remembering and honoring the 1 year anniversary of Andrew's death.  It is so cliche to say - but it is really hard to believe it has been a year.  This week leading up to his death last year was spent in the hospital.  One of the most surreal and amazing weeks of my life.  I say amazing because - to be surrounded by such an intense amount of love during that week is hard to describe.  It is a time in life that you will never forget and one that shapes and scars you forever.  And the roller coaster of emotions we all went through that week...we went from not being sure if he'd make it through the night, to him waking up Sunday morning bright eyed and telling me he had to read his blog to know what was going on.  He said he was raised from the dead!  And then you were filled with hope once again, because Andrew never lost hope.  But then we watched him slowly decline over the rest of the week and finally stood next to him that Saturday night after Thanksgiving and watched him exhale one last time.  And in that moment when he was no longer there, a part of you breathed a sigh of relief, because all the pain and suffering and sadness for him was gone.  Watching him suffer was excruciating   For those of you who were there, you know what I mean. But then the rest of you, the bigger part, knew that in that exact second that he stopped breathing, you were no longer the same and you had to walk out of that room and that hospital to face the world as a brand new person.  And it was scary.  More scared than I've ever been in my life.  We call upon strength and courage and hope every day, because as all of us are new people, living in a world where Andrew is physically no longer, we slowly learn how to put one foot in front of the other.

For our family, this week is very sacred and we are in a state of deep reflection and preparation for the actual anniversary.  It feels significant to finally reach one year.  By this time next Monday, we will know what it feels like to go through birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and all the other special events that make up life - without Andrew.  There will be many more that come - perhaps weddings, babies and even the everyday small moments when you just want to tell Andrew, "This is so funny right now and I just have to tell you!" But reaching this one year mark, maybe we can all feel a tiny glimmer of sunshine and hope, that yes, we did survive and we will continue to survive.  And my bigger hope is that we just not get through the days and years, but that we allow ourselves to become the best person we can be, for Andrew.  Because we all know he would be (and is!) rooting us on.

I hope you take this week to think about how you'd like to remember and honor Andrew.  However grand or small it may be.  And please feel free to leave comments here about good memories of Andrew.  Or how you are choosing to celebrate him on his anniversary.

Hugs to you.

Happy 34th Andrew Phillip

Happy Birthday to our dear Andrew, who would have turned 34 today. Please remember and honor him today. Gather with friends and celebrate and tell stories about him. Allow his soul to seep into yours so you can be a better person and have a more fulfilling life. Andrew was indeed larger than life. May he continue to be an inspiration to you.

Bits of Information

I don't think I've mentioned before where Andrew is buried. His grave is located in the Calvary Cemetery in Seattle. Click HERE for the cemetery's website, which includes the address and any other information you may need. And no, we are not Catholic! You don't have to be in order to be buried there. We chose this cemetery because of the location. It is just a few miles from our mother's house and sits on top of the hill overlooking UW. It is a beautiful spot and we are so grateful we were able to bury Andrew here. He is located in the St. Matthews section. When you enter off 35th, you take a left then follow the road around. You will see the white St. Matthew's sign. You can park right next to it and head down to his grave. You will see his headstone, the flowers my mother planted as well as the UW flag.

I also wanted to mention something about the memorial fund we set up in Andrew's name. If you want to make a donation, you can do so at any US Bank branch. The account name is titled The Andrew Moritz Memorial Scholarship Fund. HOWEVER, you may need to mention my mother's name Marilynn Savage Moritz as she is the account holder. We heard of a few people having trouble finding the account at the bank, so if this happens, please give the teller my mother's name and they should easily find it.

That being said, we are extremely grateful for the people who have donated already. As always, we are constantly overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support. Thank you. If you know of a child in need of a scholarship for education or sports, please pass along the information. We are excited to see these monies used to make a difference in children's lives. Something Andrew would have wanted.

Andrew's Headstone

Andrew's headstone went in last week. We are very pleased with how it turned out. It seems as with each little moment and milestone we are yet again reminded that Andrew is truly gone. Of course this is hard to accept and I'm not sure how long it will take until my mind will wrap itself around this reality. We are grateful we have a place to go to, to be near him and to pray and beg him to send us his wisdom and guidance. We are planning to put a bench at his grave as well. We are finalizing the design and hope it will serve as a place of reflection and healing.

Pictures from the Husky Game

I wanted to post a few pictures from the Husky game a few weeks back. My friend Kim took them on her phone from the stands (thank you!), so the quality is not that great, but I thought you would like to see them. It was a really amazing experience. The Husky staff and coaches were wonderful to us and went out of their way to make the night touching and honoring. We were treated to the Tyee club before the game and during half time - a nice, comfortable lounge with a fully catered dinner and bar. Before the game started we walked onto the court with Coach Romar and the announcer said a lot of nice things about Andrew, then the Coach presented my mom with a framed #11 jersey. When the whole stadium stood up and clapped to honor Andrew, I was completely overwhelmed and stood in the middle of the court with an ugly cry face! The game was fun and exciting and the Huskies were able to take home a win.

Thank you to everyone who came to the game and watched from home - it truly was a memorable night for our family.